On Monogamy

Dear Future Publisher,

I’ve been cheating on you.

But here’s the thing.  I never promised to be exclusive.

I love what we share.  I love weaving worlds with the written word.  I love everything I do for you, for us.  Every minute of it.

But when I swore I was passionate about this, I never promised I had no other interests.  I didn’t vow to be monogamous to writing, to put it before all other interests and deny myself all other pleasures.  I didn’t say, “I will love this and only this.”

I want to please you, but I also have to please myself.

I know what you’re thinking – what is she getting at?

I cheated.  It’s true.  I cheated with theatre. Continue reading


On Murder Most Foul

Dear Future Publisher,

I slash and pierce, wielding my weapon with fatal precision.  A bloom of red trails behind it, like the wake of a boat, marking its deadly passage through the crowd.  I slice, I mince, I sever.

I laugh.

It is satisfying to watch these soldiers fall.

Once, I loved them.  Maybe I still do. Continue reading

On Baldness and the Triumphant Return

Dear Future Publisher,

Did you miss me?

I know I disappeared for a while, and I hope you will forgive my negligence.  I found it unsustainable to continue blogging while drafting.  I had only so many words a day to give and I wanted and needed to give those to my WIP.  Apparently I am not a bottomless trough of unmitigated genius (alack and alas).  At the end of a long day of drafting, I felt completely unequal to writing more words.  I had used them all.

The good news, of course, is that I’ve finished drafting.  The first draft of the current WIP is complete (hurrah!) at 122,419 words (which is way too many words for this project), and I am all set to begin the long process of extensive revisions and pulling my hair out while questioning my life decisions.  And during that process, I plan to use any spare words to re-enter this world of blogging if and when I can – to save some words, dear, dear publisher, for you.

So, I’m back!  They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder – do you think it’s true?



On Vision, And Not The Metaphorical Kind

Dear Future Publisher,

It’s like being a child again, full of wide-eyed wonder at the world.

The trees, even the ones in the distance, have distinct individual leaves that move with the touch of the wind.

There is depth to the world.

Patterns crystallize into their true form, with each detail vivid and bright.

Words spring forward, easy to read even at a great distance, sharp and precise and legible.

Houses have roof tiles and brick work and delicate wreaths on the door.

People’s faces are masterpieces of individuality, with little wrinkles and freckles and other textural oddities that don’t disappear into the flesh-toned blur of obscurity.

It’s that new glasses feeling. Continue reading

On Typing

Dear Future Publisher,

I’m pounding the keys with a relentless driving force, going, going, steady and fast and then all at once in a flurry, a burst, a sudden surge of letters after which I must pause, exhausted.

My fingers, slim and delicate, pushing and prodding the buttons with a practiced expertise, rushing along the keyboard, fingers stroking, fingers flying, fingers stretching, fingers probing. Continue reading

On Cynical Romantics, Modern Vices, and Burny Drinks

Dear Future Publisher,

I am not without my vices.  We all have them.

I’m not a drinker.  I mean, I enjoy the occasional rum and coke or a shot of Bailey’s in my coffee, but at a rate of less than one a week (and at times less than one a month), that hardly counts.  And most alcohol is just icky and burny.  Beer tastes like what I imagine pee must taste like, although that is not based on any practical evidence, if you know what I mean.  Wine is just grape juice that tastes bad. So alcohol is not my vice.  That doesn’t make me a bad writer, for the record.  We don’t all have to be Hemingway. Continue reading

On The Promise of Spring

Dear Future Publisher,

Spring is in the air.

Which in my little part of Canada means that it is a little above the freezing mark, so yes, if you’re wondering, we are having an unseasonably warm spring.  For one thing, the snow all melted during the tail end of our unseasonably warm winter (global warming is real, people), and there is hardly any snow and/or freezing rain forecast in the coming weeks.  It almost certainly won’t reach the ground.  At least, it won’t stay.  We won’t have to shovel.  So, yes, the weather is, well, beautiful. Continue reading

On Dinnertime Woes

Dear Future Publisher,

I have a confession to make. I would get a lot more accomplished if I didn’t have a cat. Now, I would never not have a cat, possibly because I’m a masochist who doesn’t want to have nice things.  But the point remains: without my cat, I would get so much more done in a day.

Let me give you just one example of what it is like living with a cat.

I am sitting, writing.

Things are going well.

And then, the cat suddenly appears at my feet.  He stares at me.  I try to ignore him.